This past Tuesday was a chemo day. The time at the oncologist’s office was fine and we had another good talk with him. The infusion of chemo drugs seemed short this time. I think I was only hooked up for about 2 1/2 hours this time. Tuesday night was another onset of pain and nausea, but meds help some. Wednesday brought more of the same with a little fatigue thrown in. Yep, still have the neuropathy in my feet as well. That may be will me for quite some time, but hey, it’s part of the deal, I guess.
Overall, I have been tolerating this second session of chemo better than I had thought I would. My problem this time around is more mental than physical. I am enduring the physical difficulties, but my mind is playing with me. For example, the first session of chemo (back in August-October of last year) didn’t work. So, in my mind, I am wondering if this session of chemo is working. My hair is thinning, but I still have it. If the drugs are not killing my hair cells, is it killing my cancer?? Stupid things like this enter my mind and I am at points of unrest at times. I keep going back to Psalm 56 and 103 where it says that “I will fear not what the flesh can do unto me” and the second of God’s benefits is “He will heal you of all your diseases”. I am firmly standing on those words for sure.
Anyway, just a quick update on what this week has been like. All in all, I am doing ok!!
Filed under: The Journey |
Stef's Random Ramblings 
Stef, alittle reassurance here!!! When my sister had her chemo, she didnt start to loose her hair until the 3rd round of chemo, it started to thin on the second and then on the third, it really started to fall out. She had her husband take the razor to her head and off went the hair!!! She was BALD but BEAUTIFUL!!!!! The chemo is working, dont you let Satan play tricks on your mind!! Stand strong!!! Remember, Refuse to Loose??? The chemo worked for my sister and it will work for you!!! Keep the chin and the fight up!!!
Stef- I am a lurker to your blog. I don’t comment much but do pray for you and regularly check your blog. I couldn’t help but comment today. This morning a bible study I was a part of was all about your mind and how Satan talks to you in your own voice. (Chapter 8 of Having a Mary Spirit by Joanna Weaver) If Satan would use a demonic voice we would immediately recognize it and refuse to listen to it. But since it is our own voice we listen and begin to think it is truth when in actuality it isn’t. One verse that was especially pertinent was in Isaiah 26:3 “You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is steadfast because he trusts in you.” Satan would much rather have you live in fear than to trust your heavenly father. God is at work in you. Your blog is evidence of that! I will be praying this week for your mind as you also fight a mental battle!
Take heart, Chemo Sabe! Your hair might not be falling out in large amounts, but remember, the chemo is making you feel nasty, so it must be doing something, yes?
I watched The Bucket List last night and thought about you the whole they were in the hospital getting treatment.
You continue to inspire, and fill up my prayer list!
Stef I want you to know I haven’t stopped praying for you, I read your blog often and as you come to my mind I pray for you. Keep the faith brother, God is with you and he will bring you through this. You are an encouragment to me, God is really using you through this battle, your faith is helping build my faith and I am sure the faith of many others!!! Todd