I just wanted to give everyone an update for right now.  I know everyone who reads this blog has been praying for Stefan and our family and has shown such amazing care and concern.  On Thursday, Dr. Martin and his team of nurses and I met to discuss Stefan’s condition.  We decided then that we would remove the TPN that Stef was getting for nutrition and we would stop treating his pneumonia.  Without going into all the details, I will just say that as a group, we decided that this was the next best step.  They are continuing to keep Stefan hydrated and comfortable with pain medications.  Right now he is resting comfortably and that is so nice to see as I have seen him deal with amazing amounts of pain. 

I want to ask everyone to continue to pray for our children.  They had such a wonderful visit with their dad on Wednesday evening.  He was able to sit up and talk with each one of them.  I brought them back on Friday evening and it was a much different story.  I think the reality of his situation settled in with them.  This ended up being pretty traumatic for them as they were not able to communicate with him.  Please pray for comfort for them right now as they so desperately need that.

I also wanted to thank our church family.  Since Thursday evening, different people have been sitting with him through the night.  It is so comforting to know that there are people who care so deeply to sit with him so he does not have to be alone at all.  So, thanks to all of you who have sat with him so far.  I know it helps him stay more comfortable knowing someone is right beside him.  So, while it may seem like a small thing to you, please know that I am forever grateful for that.

Finally, I may not be posting for a little while.  Stefan’s condition is not looking good at this point.  I will only post if there is any change in that in either direction. Thank you so much for the overwhelming support from all of our friends, family, and co-workers who have stopped by to see us.  I have loved seeing each one of you.


83 Responses

  1. As always, praying for you and your family. Will turn the prayers on higher today..Hope you can feel surrounded by God’s peace during this very difficult time.

  2. Praying for a huge measure of comfort for Stefan, you and your precious children. We know God is holding you all in His hands and we pray that you will feel that as strong as anything right now.

  3. We are praying for all of you. Stronger now than ever.

  4. Our hearts hurt for your family today, but we are comforted to know that you have a wonderful support system around you and a great God. How do people do it, who don’t have that? Thank you for taking the time to keep all of us posted when you can. Sandi, we admire your strength. Your strength is a blessing to your children. We will pray for your continued strength. Praying, too, for Stef’s pain.

    Paul & Jackie Wetzel

  5. Praying for you guys so much. Even from afar we are praying that God wrap His loving arms around you and the children.

    Bumper & Susanne Hidalgo

  6. Sandi. Man, 3 years ago I lost my wife to cancer and I was in your shoes. I have so much to say but I’ll just leave it at this. My thoughts the night before she passed away were these:

    The wonderful Master Physician is finally healing my wife. She will be cancer free once again, and begin to see the rewards she built up for herself.

    She more than deserves the spoils of Heaven after the war she fought here on Earth.

    Our Father can give us peace and give us company in our loneliest moments.

    I will never understand why while I’m here on Earth. So I won’t even spend my energy figuring it out (yeah…right).

    My children will never forget what a warrior their mother was.

    Finally, I would never let my anger at Him overshadow my love for Him (so easily said…but possible).

  7. My heart is breaking for you as I read your words and sense the words you aren’t saying! I am reminded of the story in Luke where the paralytic’s friends brought him to Jesus. They were persistent (pushing through a crowd, struggling with him up stairs, digging through a roof) in getting him there because they knew he needed to be at the feet of Jesus. And that is what we are doing for you. We are being persistent in bringing you (your kids and Stef) to the feet of Jesus through prayer. We are praying for you when perhaps you can’t and trusting God to comfort and sustain you! Thank you for sharing your journey with all of us! I am sure it hasn’t been easy to do that!

  8. With a heavy heart, I pray for your three beautiful babies. I cannot look at Katherine without thinking of Carley. Those wonderful boys are on my heart too. Strength, wisdom and love to you.

    The Spirit helps us with our weakness. We do not know how to pray as we should. but the Spirit himself speaks to God for us, even begs God for us with deep feelings that words cannot explain. God can see what is in people’s hearts. And he knows what is in the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit speaks to God for his people in the way God wants. (Romans 8:26-27)

    May God hear our hearts today as words are so inadequate.
    With love and prayers,

  9. Sandi,
    We are on our knees to our Almighty Father and Healer. I love what the above comment says about our Master Physician healing the cancer. God’s plan is to restore Stef in one way or another! He will be made perfect! We continue to pray for his complete healing (With God all things are possible!), and are also praying for your strength and comfort. You are an amazing person and I wish you knew how you have touched so many through your love and dedication for Stef and commitment to our Lord. This is a battle you have proudly fought together, and I am honored to call you our friends. We love you – Caron

  10. Dear Sandi:

    We are praying desperately for you Stef and your beautiful children. I know this is the hardest thing you have ever experienced but remember God is going to heal Stef, perhaps by a miracle here on earth or perhaps by a miracle of taking him to heaven. Your strength has been remarkable and we know the Lord will continue to give you what you need for each day. Your children have a warrior for a father and are blessed. They also have a warrior for a mother and are doubly blessed. We are praying for you.

    Pastor & Mrs Frey

  11. Praying for peace and comfort for your family…

    John, Arminda & the boys

  12. God bless you, Stef and your children. Although I don’t know you, I was brought to you through Tyler’s site, my heart and prays go out to all of you!

  13. Sandi, all I can say is you are in our thoughts and prayers. I know I say this alot, but you’re in our prayers alot. Please keep us posted when you can. Denny and I would love to come up and see you two. If you get a chance, let us know when would be a good time. Love, Missi

  14. Sandi, we are so praying for you guys, we love you so much!!!
    Love you guys, Colleen, Jerry, Kylie and Rose, Evan and Kyle.

  15. sandi..im am really gladto see the outpouring from people to be by his side and wish I could be there in person as well. We are praying for all of you daily.

  16. Sandi and Stef, Bill And I are praying for your family. This has been a very trying time in the hospital. We have been inspired by your strength and courage. Your beauty as two of the finest people my children have had the priviledge to know will be something that lives on in them forever. Fondly, Karen and Bill Schirmer

  17. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your children. I am thankful Stef is comfortable and free of pain. God Bless you all. Cathy

  18. Sometimes what we pray for is not what we receive and it is hard to understand why. God has bigger things in store for us and it is hard to comprehend sometimes. Our sermon today mentioned this. Sometimes it seems what we ask for we do not receive. Praying for strength and peace for all of you.
    May God hold all of you in his hands at this time.
    God Bless You.

  19. My heart goes out to you and your childrent at this time. I may not know you besides in passing but know some what it feels like to see a loved fighting cancer. I will continue to pray for God’s healing if His will. Praying you and your family feel God’s comfort and peace each minute of the day. Psalms 23

  20. Sandi,

    Marc and I just wanted to say thanks for letting us have the kids over for sleepover movie night. We had so much fun with them tonight and we were so glad to give them a diversion! They are such awesome kids! They definitely keep us laughing and on our toes when they’re here! We’ll gladly have them over anytime you need us to whether it’s so you can have a break or to give them a change of scenery. Thanks for letting us help in this way. We love you all soooo much and are constantly praying for you!


    Kristen & Marc

  21. Sandi, my heart is so heavy for you and your family right now. No one should ever have to go through what you are facing right now. My thoughts are with you as you face this tough time.

  22. Sandi,
    I am on my knee’s praying for comfort for you and the kids. I pray that God will give you the strength you need to make the difficult decisions. Stef will get the rewards he deserves when the time is right. God Bless you!
    Love in Christ,

  23. Sandi;
    Jeff, Jeffrey, Colin, Juliana are praying for your family. Conner and I are praying together for his friend Carly and her Dad and Mom and brothers. It’s a long journey that may not be understood here on earth but we pray that God’s love will surround all of you. We are here if you need anything at home or for Sprite with Lisa gone for a few days. Please even if it’s something little, let us know.

  24. Sending up lots of prayers for you, Stef, and your beautiful family.

  25. We grieve with you.

    I’m a light sleeper, and I pray for you through the nights.

  26. We are praying earnestly for comfort and peace. We are also praying for your 3 sweet children. Our 3 girls have prayed faithfully for Stef’s healing and your family picture hangs in our kitchen. May God continue to go before you and prepare the way.

    Dave and Danna

  27. Sandi,
    It is with a very heavy and sad heart that we lift all of you up in prayer. Derek, Jay and Carly have truly been blessed with parents like you and Stef. You have taught them compassion, strength and to fight each battle with all your might, as well as depending upon the Lord during each step throughout the journey…there are no greater lessons.
    The Lord will give you what you need to endure and I pray for your continual strength and comfort during difficult times to come. Although we are far away, we are here for you.
    All our love,
    the Spaine’s

  28. I have experienced similar with my sister just over 20 years ago and her young sons who were 4 and 6 at the time. I pray that God gives you all strength and comfort through all of this. My nephews are now incredible young men as God’s hand guided them, as he will your children. Although we have only “met” through blogging, the caring and love is genuine and we will continue to pray…

  29. Dear Sandi, Many moons ago we were trilling our flutes together, playing in each other’s weddings….. much time has gone by, but I still care deeply for you, especially at this time in your life. My daughter Ellen and I have said many a prayer for your family over these months and will continue to lift you up before our Father in Heaven. With lots of love extended to you, Julie

  30. Sandi,
    I want you to know that I love you and Stef with the Love that God shows for all of us. I will be in a continual attiturde of prayer for you and your family. I am praying for Mercy, Peace and most comfort for all of you.
    Stef is a great man. You are a great woman. Your kids are so blessed to have you as parents. What a wonderful example you are to them as a wife.
    With much love and continued prayer,

  31. My heart goes out to you as I feel some of your pain. You are such a good example of strength to those around you. The Rock that you are has rubbed off on me! You and Stef have touched so many people through this journey and I continue to pray with all my heart for you and your family! God will never leave you or forsake you , He gives you a future and a hope!

  32. “After you have suffered…The God of all grace who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.”
    1 Peter 5:10

  33. Sandi, My heart just sank as I read your last post. We will certainly be in prayer for you and your children even more than before. Your testimony of faith has been such a blessing to those of us keeping tabs on Stef’s condition via the internet. Praying for you all as you seek refuge in the shadow of the Almighty,
    Adrienne (& Jeff) Zwart

  34. Sandi, we think of, and pray for you, Stef and the kids frequently. We serve a loving God and we pray that he will give all of you comfort and peace. We love you all. Todd & Marlo

  35. Sandi and Stefan,
    Our thoughts are prayers are with each and every one of you. You have been so incredibly strong…. such a tribute to your children. They will grow up strong and loving, just as you two of you have taught them… there is no greater gift that we can give to our children. They are what you have made them… they will take that with them throughout their entire life. We will continue to pray for you. Please know that although we don’t see each other often, your extended family is with you and we love you!
    Lance and Maria

  36. Stef and Sandi –

    We continue to pray for you and your family.

  37. My heart is truely braking right now…..truely braking!!!! Your family is in my thoughts and prayers.

  38. Sandi and Stef, Your family has been in our thoughts and prayers. Please let us know if you need anything or if I can help in any way… Your next door neighbors, Debbie, Billy, Courtney, Faryn, and Samantha Buchanan

  39. I wish I could think of something to say that would be a fraction of the encouragement that you were to us when we were in the hospital. You always knew just the right thing to say, and we were so blessed by getting to know you! We continue to pray for all of you, and pray God’s peace and comfort blankets you all.

  40. On Christ the solid rock we stand …

    Praying for the family now …

    Grace & peace to you,

    Mark & Jocelyn Kakkuri

  41. Praying so hard for you all! Just know that God loves you and wants you to lean on Him during this difficult time. May He comfort and provide peace to your family.

  42. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

  43. I can’t say anything new or different than what has already been well said by others’ posts…

    Know this…We are praying continually for you & Stef & your 3 children. We continue praying for the medical staff, those taking care of Stef & those you have impacted & will continue to impact through this journey!

    May GOD be your comfort during these difficult days! Know that we love you and have been amazed at what GOD has done through your journey…

    I am reminded of the words from Psalm 23…I’m sure you know them well –

    Psalm 23
    A psalm of David.

    1. The Lord is my shepherd;
    I have all that I need.
    2. He lets me rest in green meadows;
    he leads me beside peaceful streams.
    3. He renews my strength.
    He guides me along right paths,
    bringing honor to his name.
    4. Even when I walk
    through the darkest valley,
    I will not be afraid,
    for you are close beside me.
    Your rod and your staff
    protect and comfort me.
    5. You prepare a feast for me
    in the presence of my enemies.
    You honor me by anointing my head with oil.
    My cup overflows with blessings.
    6. Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me
    all the days of my life,
    and I will live in the house of the Lord

  44. We have been and will continue to pray for all of you. We know that God is using this all for HIS glory even though it is hard for us to accept. We have always loved Stef and can only place him completely in God’s hands right now.

  45. I go to Shawnee Baptist church with Stef’s friend Jill T. I prayed for you today.

  46. Dear Sandi,

    My heart aches for you and your children. Please know that I was down on my knees praying for you and your family this afternoon. If there is anything at all that I can do for you, please let me know. Even the littlest of things. I pray that God gives you the strength you need right now.
    Love in Christ,


  48. Sandi, it was so good to spend time with you and Stef today. I was so glad I got to talk with him and let him know I was there. I am amazed by your strength and as I watch you with Stef I see what a lucky man he is! May God wrap his arms around you and Stef and may you feel his love and grace. Love and prayers, Jen

  49. Sandi & family,

    Our prayers are with you & we love you.

  50. It is amazing how God brings people to your mind probably right when they need to be lifted up in prayer the most. You all have been brought to my mind quite a lot recently. Sounds like you have such a wonderful prayer support system ~ what a blessing! We continue to think of your family as we pray for strength and peace.

  51. Your family continues to be in our minds and prayers. As God continues to work, may He continue to give you the grace to say, “It is well with my soul.”

  52. Sandi, thank you for posting the reality you are facing, as hard as it must be to write. Your grace and strength amaze me. And when you feel your strength is gone, God will be carrying you forward. Jackson said the sweetest prayer for his friends, Derek, Justin and Carley, today. Please know that you and Stef and your kids are prayed for every day in our house. We love you.
    The Greens

  53. Sandi,
    I am praying for all of you. I am sure it was not an easy decision to stop treatment for his pneumonia. I am praying for the kids.

  54. Praying for you in New England,

    Russ & Melody Wight
    Jeff & Sheila Miele

  55. so sorry to hear about the twists in your road right now. we feel really heavily the weight of all the various emotions that must be overwhelming right now. we have been & will be thinking about all of you & praying for you….

  56. Sandy and Stef-
    I have been in prayer for your family since this journey began- My prayer of late is that the Lord take away his pain and that he can rest comfortably.

    This difficult time is impossible for us adults to understand, let alone your three beautiful children- they saw their Dad fight with everything he has, and his steadfast love for our Lord through it all.

    My prayer has also been for a complete healing- as someone else said- Nothing is impossible for GOD!!!!

  57. Hi Sandi, I have been thinking about you and Stef today .I pray for peace and comfort for Stef and courage and strength for yourself ,to face whatever the next step of the journey may be , ….. but what ever happens , know that your Love for Stef is eternal . Your friends at Childrens are here for you .

  58. Sandi,
    I am thankful you have such a full family supporting you. I am also thankful that your kids had a special evening with Stef last wednesday. I cherish the memories I have of visiting my mother in the hospital. They will cherish those memories too.

  59. Praying Stef and your family, peace in Jesus name.


  60. We prayed for you tonight. May God give you the grace to deal with each moment.

    The Chuck Hartman family.

  61. As Sandi’s brother I ache to comfort her beyond what I am able, and I am so proud of her strength as she and Stef have been on this journey together. It is an honor to have a sister and brother-in-law that have never failed to trust God through this time. Sandi, just remember “Because I still know who he is”. I love you!!!!


  62. Dear Sandi,

    Stefan and I were classmates in highschool. I just found out about Stefan’s illness. I am so sorry to hear of this trial your family is facing.
    My family is upholding yours in our prayers. May the Lord bring comfort and peace to your hearts.

    Love in Christ,
    Lisa (Benim) Rodebaugh

  63. You all have been in our daily thoughts and prayers as you began this journey. We will especially be praying that God’s comfort be near you and that God will give you the daily strength you need! GOD BLESS!
    The Pence Family

  64. Sandi,
    Know that you’re all in my thoughts and prayers. As hard as it may seem right now, remember… God never gives us more than we can handle. And for those “unanswered prayers” that we question as to why they weren’t answered- well they actually were answered, just not the way we wanted them to be. Trust God, as He knows what He’s doing. I pray for complete healing and total comfort for Stefan. I pray for peace, calmness and love for you and your children. May God be with each and everyone of you. I also pray for Jennifer and their parents as well. Thinking and praying for ya’ll. God Bless!


  65. It was great to see you both last week. Stef, thank you for all the support you have given Tyler in his fight with cancer.

    Refuse to lose.

    Kyle Alfriend

  66. All of you continue to be in our thoughts and prayers.

  67. Oh Sandi I am so sorry for all of this. I know what you are going through as it has happened to many of my family as I have told you in past. It is important for him to rest peacefully though. It is hard but the key is now that he isn’t in pain. Please know that we are thinking of you and the kids and if in need of anything please let us know. This is a special time of the year and I do believe it is saved for special people.
    The Exterovich Family

  68. Sandi,
    I thought about you, Stef and those sweet little children all night. I pray that God sends his angels to keep special watch over you and your children during this time and the days to come. You have displayed amazing grace and strength to us all, thru this all and I pray that he continues to bless you with both.
    Love to all of you,

  69. You were brought to my heart so many times during the night last night. We are praying for our loving Father to wrap His arms around you all and to sustain you as only He can.

    Much Love through the One who demonstrated His great love for us-
    Sue Wolcott

  70. Our thoughts and prayers remain with you.

  71. Sandi, Our thoughts and prayers go out to You, Stef and the children. Your strength and grace threw this is truly amazing. Please know that even though we are not right there, you are in our prayers everyday and wishing we could be right next door!! God Bless all of you!

    The Fenster Family

  72. May God enfold you in His love and care.

  73. Our family continues to pray for your family–for strength, for peace, for wisdom, and for God’s perfect will.
    With Love from our Father,
    The Kirkeys

  74. Sandi,
    At the soccer fields this past Fall I had the opportunity to talk with Stef on several occasions. His attitude and views were impressive. I told him to keep his faith and let him know that he was in my payers. So I will stay on this track and keep praying for him and the family, Robert.

  75. Sandi,

    We carry you and your family in our hearts, thoughts and prayers daily.
    You and Stef have shown an amazing strength and grace throughout this journey.
    I believe that your three sweet children have found a sense of comfort in witnessing your faith and love that you have for each other.

    Much love,
    Lisa and Scott

  76. I have been praying for Stef for a while now. And eventhough I have never met either of you, I want you to know that in God’s Kingdom, we are all His children. I am lifting all of you to His throne and I know that His care is greater than any other. Prayers and blessings to you.

  77. Continuing to lift all of you up in prayer!

  78. Stef and Sandi,
    I am thinking of you and your family and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. You have shown great strength in your fight and journey.


  79. Sandi,
    We can’t tell you how much we wish we could be closer during this time. It’s great to hear how those near you have gathered close to be there for you and your kids. Stef, you, and the kids have been in our prayers often, but now it will be continually. We are amazed at your strength throughout this. Thanks for taking the time to keep us informed.
    In His Grip,
    Todd & Johanna

  80. Stef was my son’s AWANA leader a few years ago. Stef is an amazing follower of Christ, and truly depicted what I would expect someone who has a love for the Lord to be. He has always had a ready smile and “Hello”. Please let him know what a difference he has made without even realizing…as we have never met you or him “officially”. His simple way of just being kind has touched my heart and been a blessing just to know that my son knew him for the short time he was in his group.

    I am praying for you all to feel the Hand of God with you now, holding you and your family up to the challenges that He would choose for you to show Him praise.

    Thank you Stef for all the kindness you have shown, and may all blessings be for you and your family.

  81. Sandi and Stef,
    We have prayed for so long for the miracle of complete healing for Stef. Sometimes God has different plans. Who are we to question Him? I guess that is what faith is all about…believing without knowing the answer to “why”. Know that Don and I will be here for you and the kids now and always for whatever you may need. We are continuing to pray for peace and comfort for you all.

    God bless you all!

    Kelly and Don

  82. Lifting you up in prayers…May God wrap His arms around you all:)
    Mimi Anglin and family

  83. You probably don’t know or remember me, but my mother is Jean Rabold. My
    grandmother was “Aunt Toots”. Everyone knew her! Anyway, my mom, Jean
    Rabold, suggested that you, Stef or Sandi, pick a time of the day. All of us who are praying for you, Stef, Sandi and the kids, will stop what we are doing
    at that time, and pray for you all. God can do miracles! We believe he can!
    Let us know what you think……….thanks………Darlene

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