Journey update…

Well, I find myself in a dark place again.  Had a very rough day, both physically and mentally.

It started off good with breakfast with Sandi and Carley.  We had a nice time.  I cherish these moments, for sure.  Then the day went downhill from there.

I had a bad reaction to one of my chemo drugs during my treatment today.  It was a reaction to Erbitux.  This is a drug I need, but not sure where we stand on using it anymore, due to my reaction today.

Then I got more bad news on the CT scan I had on Friday.  More growth AND new masses are showing up.  I have been in pain for a week now.  I would rate it an 8.5 on a 10 point scale.  Not fun.  The only way the pain will be alleviated or go away is if the chemo works to shrink the cancer.  Chemo has not done its job for me in the past, so we pray it starts working NOW.

I then had a not so positive conversation with my surgeon.  His selection of words and tone of voice lead me to believe that things are not good right now.  I think that the cancer may be a couple steps ahead of me, as there was a tone of concern and worry in my surgeon’s voice.

Anyway, I need prayer and a lot of it.  Pray as follows:

1.  COMPLETE HEALING – I am getting tired of this cancer thing….
2.  That the chemo will actually begin to work and shrink the cancer.
3.  Mental strength.  Very bad mental day today.
4.  Physical strength as they will probably begin to throw the book at me to try and slow this down or beat it.
5.  That I will stop questioning God.  He has a reason for this.
6.  Pray for Sandi.  She and I are not talking about this right now.  We are both, I think, trying to really figure out what this means and where I stand in my journey.
Really trying hard right now to REFUSE TO LOSE!!

36 Responses

  1. We love you!

  2. We are praying for you and the family.

  3. Praying for you Stef!

  4. We are covering your family in prayer Stef. We love you guys.

  5. In my mind I am standing right next to you waiting to slay those giants.

    Prayers abound.

  6. We’re praying for you Stef!

  7. I’m praying for you!

  8. Our family still believes in the power of God. We are all praying for you and your family. Thank you continuing to share.

  9. Stef and Sandi,

    We are all praying for you and will continue to until you win the battle and beat this cancer!!!!!

  10. Stef,
    Praying hard for you and the family .

  11. Definitely keeping you in my prayers…He will never forsake you or your family!

  12. In your weakness He is strong. Praying with you and for you, bro.

  13. im PRAYING PRAYING PRAYING …standing with you man…wish i really physically could


  15. Stef, we attend NWB with you but haven’t ever met you personally. We just wanted to let you know that we’re praying for you and your family–especially that you’ll be comforted while you wait on Him to work. Be blessed.

  16. Stef~My family and I praying for you and your family.

  17. Stef, standing in the gap for you and your family!!!!! Praying sincerly!!

  18. I hope this helps, you are lifted in my family’s prayers EVERYDAY. Before the boys goto sleep, you are ALWAYS the last person they pray for. When you are spiritually tired, there are so many around you to lift you up!

  19. Praying for you my friend.

    How are you enjoying, Life Wide Open? Good stuff, huh?

    May GOD continue to carry you up as you walk through this valley…

  20. We are praying for you & your family–specifically for one of those “part the waters”, “turn water into wine”, “feed the five thousand”, “God gets all the honor and glory” miracles!

  21. Stef,
    You don’t know me. I know about you through Tyler Alfriend’s dad. I know you have brought much joy, energy, strength, and an example of faith to them and many others. I commit to pray for you daily until you beat this thing. You will beat this thing. You are right, God DOES have a plan, he ALWAYS does. I pray that those around you will hold you up like the people held Moses’ arms up when he could not. HE’s enough for you. I pray you feel that deep in your soul, and that Sandy will be refreshed, uplifted, strengthened.

  22. We are constantly keeping you and your family in our prayers.

  23. Praying Stef!

  24. Stef:

    Dad and I love you SO much and continue to bring you before the Lord CONSTANTLY!!! We’re still praying for a miracle in your life. May God give you and our precious Sandi “peace in the storm”!!!

    Mom Matson 🙂

  25. We are praying for you hard buddy! Our God is the one and only miracle worker! We love you.

  26. Praying for peace for you and your family.

    Refuse to lose fight to win!!

  27. We are praying for you Stef. You’re on our prayer list at church and the kids bring your name before the Lord every night when they say their bedtime prayers. God bless you and Sandi and family. Love and Prayers always.

  28. I am praying for you and your family. Sending much love to you and your family!!

  29. Stef and family –

    I think of you all almost everyday and pray that you continue to find the strength and courage that you need to keep fighting this awful battle. Your faith is an inspiration and I gain strength just from reading your words – thank you for sharing your journey.

  30. PG led Wednesday prayer meeting at GBC tonight. He shared your post, and we prayed for you.

  31. Stef,
    I am praying for you , Sandi and your children.. He will lift you up!
    Because of His Grace,

  32. Stef Just wanted to let you know that I send your Blog to my daughter and her husband. We Pray for you and your family all the time. Shannon our son in law took this one step further and sent your blog to Global Prayer network.
    Once again we will continue to pray for you and your family.

    Lots of Love and Prayers
    Pam & Duane

  33. Stef
    We were totally blown away by your visit to choir on Wednesday evening.
    You and your family have been on both of our minds ALL day.
    You truly amazed both of us . You are able to stand up in front of off all of us and share how much you love GOD and trust that he will heal your cancer.
    There wasn’t a dry eye in the house and I ask GOD right now, we need a miracle
    and please remove this cancer from Stef .God Bless and We will pray especially
    for all of you.
    Bob and Dian Steckhan
    Northwest Bible Church

  34. Praying hard for you and your crew!

  35. God is surrounding every part of you every day! I am praying EARNESTLY on your behalf!!

  36. I am Joshua – My prayers are heard like roars thru the mountains. I am the voice that can be heard. I pray loud for your. I specifically ask that your pain, suffering, and fears, be lifted and swept away from you and your family.

    I specifically ask in the name of Jesus Christ that you have faith, you will live, and live cancer free.

    I pray 1 million prayers for you to be healed. I call the prayer angels to deliver these prayers 1 million times to our lord, god. In Jesus Name. I pray that my god send word to others, news of this prayer, and let there be more gods, hear this prayer.

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