Friday Funny…

WALMART APPLICATION:

This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen

submitted to Walmart in Arkansas . They hired him because he was so funny…..

NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy Old Man)

DESIRED POSITION: Company’s President or Vice President. But seriously,

whatever is available . If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a severance

package. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I’m worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and

post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be

‘Do you have a car that runs?’

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job – no! On my breaks – yes!

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I’m the

greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I’d like to be doing that now.

NEAREST RELATIVE….7 miles

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely.

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4 Responses

  1. HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me.

    that’s my favorite, hahaha

  2. Hilarious! But it really hits home since my husband is working pt. time at the above mentioned company ( after many years of owning a successful business ) along with doing ministry the rest of the time.

    Oh how the mighty have fallen! 😉
    we long to be back in full time ministry and yet…
    the word says in James 4 “Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up”.

    So we embrace this season for what it is.

    Every blessing to you in Jesus love and grace Stef, you remain in my thoughts and prayers!

    Susan

  3. very funny…I like the greatest thing since sliced bread line.

  4. This guy needs to go into comedy! Thanks for a good laugh:)

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