Well, what do you say when your surgeon asks you if you want to live or die? Uh, let me think for a minute, yep, I’ll take life.
Just got back from my surgeon appointment and it didn’t play out like I thought it would. I have spent the last three to four weeks putting together what I am calling “The Summer of Memories”, only to have them all washed away in an instant. I had trips planned to Chicago and Boston to see some ball games. Another trip to Chicago with my wife and daughter. AAHHHH!!!! My summer is now called “The Summer of Recovery”. I am being scheduled to have another surgery in the middle of June. Although we have been told the cancer is growing slowly, it seems to be growing in many places that my surgeon does not like. It is surrounding my liver, but not in the liver. It is growing around my stomach, but not in my stomach. It is growing in other areas and my surgeon says, let’s go and get it now.
We got rocked again today. I was thinking I would be having surgery later this year, but the cancer is rearing it’s ugly head again and we need to fight a little harder. I did not take this well. I am not happy about this, but like he said, I can chose life or death and I think I like living.
So, we will reschedule the trips and I guess I get to drive Sandi crazy all summer. Looks like I will save a bunch of money, too, as my golfing habit will be shut down this year.
Anyway, I need some prayer for some mental strength right now. I knew this was coming, but not so soon.
REFUSING TO LOSE!!!
Filed under: Are You Kidding Me, Bad Day, Cancer, Colon cancer, I Refuse To Lose, The Journey |
Stef's Random Ramblings 
Absolutely.
You’re in our prayers, Stef. You can come hang out with Brent when Sandi starts going crazy this summer. She and I can have therapy together! 🙂 We’re so sorry about this plan of events and we’ ll be praying for you to be filled with truth & strength in this mental battle.
Praying your mind is guarded by His strong tower… the name of Christ Jesus. And your body too. Praying In His Name, and in His Love and Strength, the Power of the Holy Spirit…
Amen
Stef,
We just read your update. We are all sorry to hear the discouraging news. The words of Joshua 1:9 immediately popped in my head “Do not be discouraged, for I am your God who is with you wherever you go…” Rest assured that we will continue to pray for you guys – specifically that God would give you strength right now to take each day captive.
Blessings, brother. We’re here if you need anything.
Allen, Kristin Austin and Emma
same here man…I refuse to lose for ya…praying for you daily man!
Well, the messing up of your memory-making plans is, at the very least, a disappointment. You wanted to do special things with your family members. But it sounds like the cancer is bothering the neighbors and needs to be evicted.
You can still make memories. Tea parties with Daddy on the couch. Video games with the boys. Reading together. Visits from extended family and good friends. Family video nights (we’ve borrowed videos from the library that I found on this site: http://www.dove.org/).
Simple memories can be good, too. 🙂 As long as you’re there, Stef, the occasion is a good memory for your family.
Praying for you.
Stefan,
Saw Matt at SIIM yesterday and he shared your news with me. I want you to know that you and your family are in my families prayers starting yesterday and you are going to be added to our prayer list Sunday! Get ready for a surge of love and the spirit to envelope you and your family from Tennessee.
Deb
Stef, just read your post.
Joining in the prayer battle, asking the Lord for some assistance.
He’s in control, but we’re all broken, fallen people living in a broken, fallen world.
2 Corinthians 4:13-18:
“It is written: “I believed; therefore I have spoken.” With that same spirit of faith we also believe and therefore speak, because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you in his presence. All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”
Stef, I want to say that Kendra and all of us are praying for you and your family, I can’t imagine what you are feeling now. I say a hearty amen to Michael’s thoughts and post above!
Stef & Sandi…
I’ve typed & re-typed about 5 times what I wanted to leave for you on your blog. All of it sounded like CRAP that wouldn’t mean or help in any way.
Nothing I can say hasn’t already been said.
Nothing I can say will help you feel better.
Just know I am praying for you DAILY and my heart is broken over this news.
REFUSE TO LOSE MY FRIEND!
Stef,
Curve ball buddy, but does your surgeon believe in God?
Steven
Stef, my prayers continue for you and your family. God is always in control, His promises are certain and sure!
I am praying for you and your family as you head into surgery and recover this summer. God must have a special reason you should postpone your trips til fall.
Even though you did not God did! This is all part of HIS plan and won’t it be awesome to see what a miracle he is going to do in your life! On the golfing front, the boys can come over and play golf via Playstation and save us all $ this summer. Lots of love and prayers- Jen, Jim, and Caleb
Hang in there, we are praying, and also refuse to lose.
Jon & Lisa Bush
Hey Stef I just want you to know that you are in our prayers and on our minds. Love Uncle Joe and Aunt Carol God Bless you and your family.
I continue to pray for you and your family! Your faith is extremely inspiring and motivational! Thank you for showing me that you need to trust God in every situation and take life as it comes. God has a purpose for everything and his light shines through you! Keep being positive!!! God Bless You!
Julie
We’ll be praying for you and your family.
“Let your mercy be upon us O God, just as we put our hope in you.”
Sue
Praying, praying and more praying for you. I saw an old friend a couple weeks ago whose cancer journey is strikingly similar to yours–she was diagnosed about 7-8 yrs ago, when told she had 3 months at best—stay strong, and refuse to lose!
Stef, I know that no matter how bad things look, feel, or sound, Jesus can absolutely and totally eradicate this monstrous disease and that is what I am praying for, for you and your family. Your strength (whether you see it or not) is just amazing to me. I thank God for His healing hand over your life because I know He can. “Fear not for I am with you; be not dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Is. 41:10.
Stef,
Hang in there bro, we will continue to keep you and your family in our prayers.
I repeat Hope’s passage from Is. 41:10 “Fear not for I a with you; be not dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
God bless you!
Brad
As always, you are in my family’s continued prayers. Just when we think we have a tad bit of control, He lets us know he’s in control:) Keep believing, keep praying, keep fighting, and keep refusing to lose. After running the Race for the Cure this weekend, I feel even more greatly that we need to BEAT CANCER.
we’re thinking of you and praying for you everyday. great memories do include boys and video games, dancing with cinderella and eating ben and jerry’s in bed watching a “chick flick”. hang in there buddy, i believe God has plans too. love to you all.
No matter what WE think or plan the Lord is in control of everything. Proverbs 16:9 says “In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps”. Have a good day Stef and keep looking up my friend, much better days are ahead!!!
Stef:
You’re in my prayers, big guy. I was just remembering Brewton (sp?), Alabama….spring break 1990….the whole town was flooded, and we were in Jay Hidalgo’s Isuzu Trooper. Remember? We stopped at a McDonalds to use the restrooms, and the water was over a foot deep in the restaurant. At one point, the water was half way up the doors of the Trooper and we started to float!!! Man, we weren’t letting ANYTHING stop us from Florida!!! We refused to lose! Just thought I’d share….always brings a smile to my face!!!
And just like those waters, you’ll make it through this latest development. I know you will!
Brad Silvius
Oh man….. what a bummer!
HOWEVER – you are right: WE REFUSE TO LOSE! Do whatever it takes – surgery and all. We’ll keep you and your family in prayers.
In case you’ll have a lot of time reading while recovering, I recommend “Blessings Out Of Buffetings” by Alan Redpath. An incredible book.
Praying,
Liza
Just read y our blog. I will be praying for you to have strength to proceed onward in your fight. Keep looking up! Keep on fighting!
Stef, just wanted to tell you we pray for you daily. Jacob even reminds Brad at night to pray for “Mr. Stef!” We hope and pray that your trips are just “postponed” for a little while and that this surgery is a huge success!
Love,
Brad & Andrea Nelson
Still thinking and praying for you and your family. A scripture in Jeremiah seems fitting, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Amen, Lord, so be it!!
You are in our prayers. Praying for your strength.
Refuse to lose. You can do it.
I know God will not give me anything I can’t handle. I just wish that He didn’t trust me so much.
Mother Teresa
Stef,
You’re still on the top of my “in basket” {prayer list}. Cubs / Bosox!!! What was worse the doctor’s comments or missing those games? Probably not that funny. ’bout time for another basket. Like Morgan Freeman said in Shawshank Redemption, (related to what the doctor said),” You’re either gettin’ on with livin’ or gettin’ on with dyin’. Choose the later. Missed you last Sunday.
Love,
Steve & Ellen Ulrey
Stef, I’m so sorry to hear the news 😦
We’re praying for you confidently, with faith in our Lord ability as you fight this disease, refusing to lose!
And Fall sounds like a great time to take those trips, don’t you think? It’s so hot in the summer time anyway. 😉
May the love and grace of Jesus carry you through this season,
Susan
Praying for you!! And for the most beautiful, memorable summer of your family’s life.