If you had the chance…

question.jpg…to ask how you would die, would you ask that question? Tough one, huh. Disclaimer: this is not meant to be a morbid post. I am in a very good mental state right now. Just sharing my curiosity and thoughts.

I asked that question yesterday at my oncology appointment. It was a question out of curiosity as I cannot wrap my head around how this cancer can get me. In my small, finite mind, I had an answer for everything. If it gets to the liver, either do a radiofrequency ablation procedure or surgically remove some of the liver, it will grow back. If it gets to the lungs, take out a lobe of the lung. If it gets to the lymph system, hhmmnnn, not sure about that one.

So, here is the answer my oncologist gave me. First, he corrected me on my two year prognosis. For the second time in eight months, he has told me that these are just averages and that he has many patients out five and seven years. Then he went on to say that there is not a real defining moment in the process. Basically, he said that cancer takes its toll on the body and the body begins to shut down. It can really no longer fight and so it starts the process of shutting down. He went on to say that many of his patients know it is their time before he does.

So, if we keep fighting and keep the cancer at bay, and I continue to keep the positive attitude, maybe I can keep my body from shutting down for a few more decades. Gonna be a battle, but I don’t lose very many things!! Watch out cancer, here I come! Are you ready to RUMBLE!!!!!!!!!

Also, a small bit of good news yesterday. I gained three more pounds the last two weeks. I am now out of my old high school weight and getting back into my college weight. I have gained back a total of 10 pounds and only have 28 more pounds to gain to get back to my fighting weight!


4 Responses

  1. We found you through Tyler Alfriend’s website. I just wanted to tell you a quick story.

    My grandmother, at age 77, was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. She took one chemotherapy treatment – and on her doctor’s advice – quit. The treatment in his opinion would kill her faster than the cancer.

    My grandmother died a month before she turned 92. She was healthy and happy to the day she died. She literally woke up one morning, went for a quick walk and dropped dead. No pain, no suffering.

    The cancer? Gone. Disappeared. She went to the oncologist every six months from the time she quit her treatment to the time of her death. She baffled all the doctors. No medical reason for the cancer to literally vanish from her body.

    My grandmother was the most positive person I have ever met.

    Yep, attitude is everything.

  2. There’s more than one way to skin a cat!

  3. You’re gonna beat this disease Stef, I truly think that you are!
    Why? because you Refuse to Lose and of course because God is good and He is with you!

  4. That is the attitude to have…to keep on fighting! Praying for you and your family.

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