They say no news is good news, but…

I have some news. We don’t have all the information yet, but we did not receive good news on Friday. If you recall, my first follow up CT scan was on Friday. I was nervous to get the results, but was like a kid at Christmas, waiting in anticipation for the great news I was so optimistic to hear. Well, God had other words for me to hear.

Words like, there is no change in the tumor and the cancer is continuing to spread. WHAT!!!! Five rounds of chemo!! Ten weeks of a physical and mental battle and I am not getting ANY BETTER! In fact, my condition is getting worse. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!! I know that I am still early on this journey, but a little good news by now, would be nice.

We don’t have the full story yet, but we should know more this week. I meet with my oncologist again on Tuesday and my surgeon on Thursday. Right now, it looks like surgery will be on October, 19th, but we will know for sure on Thursday.

My journey got harder for me this past Friday. This was not the news I was expecting to hear and it really rocked my world again. I am struggling mentally. I hope that I can continue to be positive and strong, but getting nothing but bad news around every corner is getting really hard to handle. This situation is getting bigger every day. The mental battle is bigger than I thought it would be.

I am human. God is not. I think I have talked with God more the last two days than I have this entire journey. I know that there are many, many, many people praying for me and all I humbly ask is that you continue in prayer for Sandi and I.

Please continue to pray for an extra dose of mental strength for Stef. Pray for physical strength for both Stef and Sandi. Pray that the cancer does stop spreading (we do not need this cancer to reach my liver or lungs!!) Pray for the upcoming surgery and the pending recovery. During recovery, first pray for physical strength for Sandi to not only run our household, but also her “nursing” role in taking care of me. Then pray for me as I endure the painful and uncomfortable recovery period. I can handle it all with God leading my care team and giving me strength when I need it.

So, the journey continues and we will just dig deeper and run harder and let God lead the way.

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22 Responses

  1. Words fail me now, but love – that never fails. I will pray my heart out for you both.

  2. We are, and will be, praying for you. I can’t imagine the battle you are going through, but with God’s help, you will get through. We don’t know what the end holds, but we do know Who holds the end.
    Sincerely in Christ,
    Betty & Jack

  3. oh man…YOu know I have you covered in prayer buddy…

  4. Praying. My heart is breaking for you and your family. I will continue to hold on to the hope that you are holding onto as well… through Christ Jesus.

  5. […] weight of my struggles is nothing compared to that of our contributor and blogging friend. Stef was hit with thisover the weekend and it really broke my heart this morning.  So… for Stef: I’m falling […]

  6. I think it is extra hard to “watch” a peer go through this, knowing that it could be any of us at any time. Very hard to wrap our minds around this. We pray that you and your family get continued strength, the doctors have widsom, and that a MIRACLE will happen. Our 2nd grader reminds us all the time to pray for a miracle. How faithful he is to ask God for a miracle for his ailing mamaw. He is persistent! Our pastor reminded us in his sermon yesterday that we are to be persistent in our prayers!

    Paul & Jackie Wetzel

  7. Stef,

    You have a lot of people who are praying for you here in Illinois. It may sound trite, but is true that God will not give you more than you can handle. Hang in there!

    Steve and Tiffany

  8. Stef –

    Brother “I’m sorry” seems so empty, but it is all that I can think to say. You are in my thoughts and prayers throughout the day. Even at this moment. May God continue to “calm the sailor”. We love you guys.

  9. Check your blog regularly, and just want you to know we are praying!
    Lois Jacobs

  10. Praying for you at this very moment, Stef and will continue in Jesus’ name.

  11. Hey man. Look, even though we have never met, we know each other. Paul talks about it in almost all of his letters. Those of us in Christ are bonded together by Him through the Holy Spirit, the Comforter. I’ll be honest with you, I’m the type of guy that when someone I know is in need, I’m there. So, I will be, even if only through our common ministry. I will also do my utmost to bring in some other brothers as well. I apologize for not “being there” as much as I should have in the past. You are on my heart and my mind, therefore in my prayers. Continue to keep the attitude you have, you are inspirational to all of us; God will handle the rest. God bless, brother.

  12. For we do not want you to be ignorant brothers of the affliction we experienced…For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us not rely on ourselves but on God who raises the dead.
    He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again.
    You also must help us by prayer, so that many will give thanks on our behalf for the blessings granted us through the prayers of many.
    – 2 Corinthians 1:8-11

  13. Still praying for you and still believing for God’s best for you and your precious family. I am awakened most nights praying for you and for your strength and the much needed wisdom and direction for your team of doctors. Keep the faith!!

  14. We love you and are praying for you. Your strength and hope and example are enduring examples of a life changed by Christ. Thanks for inviting us in.

  15. Wow—lot for you to process. Know we (Matt and I) are praying for ya…keep your strength, hope and faith. You are a model to us all…

  16. Steph and Sandi,
    My heart breaks for both of you during this time, but realizing we have a great God who can do anything. Just keep looking up even when it seems impossible! We just read at bible study, Is. 55:8-9 how God’s ways are not always are ways nor His thoughts ours but instead He has great plans for each of our lives. Keep fighting the fight, trusting God although I know that is not easy! Both of you will be in my prayers that you will find the strength needed for each day or even each minute of the day. Keep fighting onward! In Christ, Amy Basinger

  17. All I can think of is Job – how he praised God thru it all and let God use him as an example for many many many generations to come. Stay strong, keep the faith, and know God is greater than anything we face and has a reason and a plan.

    You are stronger than I could ever be in a time like this. Abigail and I continue to lift you up in prayer, my friend…

  18. THis is my first ever “Bloggation” “Bloggism” “blogoramafication”???? Stef- It was so wonderful to see you at the reunion. I was at a loss for words which is unusual for me. You made me feel at ease. YOu are just that kind of guy and always have been. So caring that in the midst of it all -you comfort others. You are brave and strong. I have always admired and adored you in the best possible way. I have to admit that I have shed many tears over this, but no more. I will be a warrior of prayer and God will hear. Jesus gave examples in the NT – the persistent beggar- that’ll be me! bec

  19. Stef, I haven’t been around wordpress for a while, but even through our move you have been in my thoughts and prayers! We have a very dear friend going through the same things only he had to have emergency surgery for a blockage and that’s how he found out.
    Its hard.
    I am so sorry for the bad news, and can only imagine how hard it must be having never gone through this.
    May the Lord hold you close and give you strength.
    I am still contending for healing and fighting for you from afar.
    May you feel His presence and grace, but most of all His love.

    Susan

  20. Sue and I pray for your successful journey…… Hope all goes well next week.

    You know what they say in central ohio >> go bucks …… go Stefan!

  21. You and your family are in our prayers. ,

    Look into the possiblitly that you might need blood transfusions and have a matching blood relative donate their blood for you. They might have already told you this.
    Praying for healing and your cancer to stay the same until surgery.

  22. On another note ,you and Sandi keep your chin up and think total healing.
    You can do it.

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