Yep, I am human after all…

Just to let you know, today I am scared for the first time through all of this. I have my first round of chemo tomorrow and I just don’t know what to think or how to feel. But, I am scared. I have been told what to expect, but I really don’t want any of it to come. So, my chemo starts at 1pm (EST) and I would appreciate your prayers. I hate to be weak and scared, but I guess I am human after all. I have been told to let my emotions roll and I guess that is what I will do. Don’t get me wrong, I am still VERY positive and will beat this, but just a bad day today.

So, stay tuned, and I will let you know how my first treatment goes!!


17 Responses

  1. Stefan –

    “Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.

    Be of sober spirit, be on the alert Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.

    But resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same experiences of suffering are being accomplished by your brethren who are in the world.

    After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you. ”

    1 Peter 5: 6 – 10

    From my reading, the Lord is willing to take those anxieties.

  2. That’s why we love you… your honesty and openess. I think there is room for fear and doubt as we wrestle with the flesh and circumstance. Remember that God is faithful and he understands everything that we go through.

    “Know… that the Lord your God is God.” …Deut 7:9

  3. Stef, Bart Butler passed on your link to me and I can’t stop listening to “Bring the Rain” over and over and praying for you and your family. I so admire your willingness to share all that you are going through with others and pray that God will work many wonderful miracles through you and this battle.

    I especially pray for your children, as it must be incredibly difficult for them to understand exactly what you are going through or the tremendous faith in God that it takes to persevere through this fight. However, I also know that God is faithful, all powerful and will, without any doubt, use this to reach other lost souls through you and can also comfort your children in ways that we can’t imagine.

    I will be sure to pass this along to everyone in my church and small group, too so they can also keep you in their prayers and be inspired by you and your faith. You and your family are in all of our prayers and we look forward to hearing of all the glory that God is sure to be brought through you, Stef.

  4. You have always had POSITVE going for you! God will wrap his loving arms around you every step of the way! Ps 94:19 “When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul.” My prayers are with you!

  5. We just got back from vacation (with no internet most of the past week) and am reading your news. May God give you the strength to get through this. I am praying for you and your family.

    I passed this on to a friend who has also just begun chemo in the past few weeks: Matthew 19:26 (NLT) Jesus looked at them intently and said, “Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But with God, everything is possible.” Hold it close if you get discouraged and know that many are praying…

  6. God gave us all those feelings and emotions and it is fine to be open about them. When we went through our trauma with Stacy, the best advice I was given was to be honest with God and not try to hide it because He knew my heart! We love you and are praying for you!

  7. Stef:
    I’m glad Dr. Franklin told me about your website ……You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers…..if anybody can beat this….you can. Stay strong!!

  8. Don’t hold back on the feelings or emotions. Let ’em roll. Lift them to God. He understands. His strength in your weakness.

    “He said to me,’My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness. Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.’ 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

    Check out this link when you have time. It contains several clips of scripture relating to our weakness and His strength.

    Praying for you, Stef.


  9. I can’t believe you’re human…thats not the Super Stef I know…lol. I have no doubt that God will give you the strength you need today. Its almost 1pm now and I’m getting ready to start praying, but i wanted to just jump on here to let you know that you were on my mind and in my prayers…

  10. Stef,
    I and my family are praying for you and yours! I am sure God is holding you in the palm of his hand and will be cradaling you in his arms when you are feeling “merely human”.

  11. I will pray, as hard as I can, from as deep as my spirit permits. Rejoice in your fear, if at all possible, that God used us at our weakest points. HE LOVES YOU and has a plan! Please, please, please allow yourself to feel because God feels it too!

  12. Stef you know I’ve done chemo twice and I am here to be a testimony to God’s great love. Remember, Jesus wanted to give up His task before Him when He was in the garden. He had to trust His heavenly Father, as you do. It might become a bumpy road but we will all ride with you.

    In His love,


  13. Stef,
    Becky told me the news and sent me your blog page. I am so sorry to hear this news! I had found out in May that another friend of ours who is in her early 40’s was diagnosed with colon cancer Stage 4 as well. She just had part of her liver removed due to the spread of the cancer but she seems to be doing really well. I think she actually starts her chemo this week as well. God works in mysterious ways! I am glad to know that you have such a strong faith in God. He will get you and your family through this! Take care of yourself!!!! You are in my thoughts and prayers!

  14. Stef – just wanted to let you know that I am praying for you! You have been on my mind so much today. Last Saturday I went to our local farmer’s market here in Fishers, IN. There was a lady selling some things who looked familiar. I stopped to talk to her. I then realized that she went to my church. Her name is Sharon. For some reason she started telling me about the fact that she had cancer. I asked her some questions and she said that seven years ago she was diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer. Then she said that last year it did spread to her lungs, but NOW she is cancer-free. The doctors can’t believe it! I told her the little bit that I knew about your situation. She said that she would love to talk with you and give you encouragement and some words of advice. Just know people are praying. I will continue to lift you in prayer.

  15. Panic Away

    This brought me back from the Brink!

  16. Panic Away Program

    This helped me out of those DARK PLACES.

  17. Panic Away Education

    This helped me out of those DARK PLACES.

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