Friday Funny…

Or should I say Friday Punny… Enjoy the puns and don’t think too hard!!

> A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France , resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.

> I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

> Police were called to a daycare where a 3-year-old was resisting a rest.

> The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.

> To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

>When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.

> The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

> A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
> The thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.
> Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.

> We’ll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.
> When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , U C L A.
> The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.

> The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

> If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.

> A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
> What’s the definition of a will? (It’s a dead giveaway)
> Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
> A backward poet writes inverse.

> A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
> If you don’t pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
> With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
> Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I’ll show you A-flat miner.

> When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
> The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
> He broke into song because he couldn’t find the key.
> A lot of money is tainted: ‘Taint yours, and ‘taint mine.
> A boiled egg is hard to beat.
> He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
> A plateau is a high form of flattery.
> Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
> When you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall.
> When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she’d dye.
> Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

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2 Responses

  1. CLASSIC!!!! Those were awesome. Did someone finally write down all of Denny’s? I am begging you, whatever you do, please don’t even show this to him. Great stuff. Some of those were laugh out loud funny.

  2. Haha!! Yes, Dennyisms!! Believe me, these will be kept from Denny!!

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