Our visit to The James – Second Opinion Update…

Well, we had our second opinion visit at the James Cancer Hospital today. It was interesting coming out of the appointment and talking with Sandi about it. She was on could nine and I was basically in tears. Perspective is everything and I will explain. I will split this post into two parts.

Part I: The Good Stuff

1. I maintained my weight the last to weeks. MAJOR accomplishment for me. I am hovering around 156 pounds and holding steady.

2. The doctor told us that the chemo regimen that I am on is the chemo regimen I should be on. It was great to hear a second opinion from a doctor who is a/the top doctor at the James that is treating this type of cancer. He travels the globe speaking on gastro-intestinal cancer and has done much research on it. It is nice to know that I have been on the right track.

3. The doctor really discussed surgery. Sandi and I are all for it, although I am scared to death to have a major surgery like this. He wants us to meet with a top surgeon as soon as Tuesday, if I can get in. The surgeon he wants me to see is a surgeon that only deals with stage 4 cancer patients and has also pioneered a new in-surgery procedure called a chemo wash. We will learn much more about all of this when we meet with the surgeon. The basic of the chemo wash is that during surgery, the surgeon will wash my internal organs with chemo drugs. I’ll try to explain more in another post as soon as I learn more about this. This surgeon is the only one doing this procedure in the state of Ohio and surrounding states. Looks like the surgery may take place in the next four to six weeks.
It is great to see God open doors. Not only did I get to see the top colo-rectal doctor at the James, but I get to see the top surgeon as well. I also get to see these physicians in a very short time frame and didn’t have to wait three or four months.

Part II: The not so good stuff (aka, Stef’s human perspective)

WARNING: I am getting VERY real here. I am going to be open, honest and frank, just so you know.

OK, we asked the hard questions again, but I hate to hear the answers. My prognosis has not changed much. He is giving me a 50/50 chance to make it to two years. With the surgery and some aggressive chemo, maybe I get five to six years. I have to stop asking the questions, because I am tired of hearing the answer that I get to die. Don’t get me wrong, it was a good visit and we got some good news, great options and all that, but when you are living this and the doctors keep telling you that they will do everything to give me a few more years is just impossible to hear. I DON’T WANT TO DIE and that is basically what every physician is telling me. AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! I mean, come on, what did I do to deserve this!! This is just too crazy for me to continue to try and wrap my head around. Told you I was going to be real.

After crying for a little while, I got my act back together enough to post tonight. Maybe I just slipped into a state of denial. Maybe the chemo one week, off chemo the next, routine was just that, a routine. Am I not taking this serious? Am I really in complete denial? We have not had the hard conversations with physicians for some time, so maybe this jarred me back to reality. Either way, it is hard to hear someone tell you that you only have years to live.

SUMMARY:

So, overall, it was a good visit. We did get some good news and I do like the aggressive nature of these doctors. I know I was a little real in this post, but don’t get me wrong, my faith in God is strong. I am human and this stuff really messes with your head. Prayer, scripture, and God’s grace are the only things that will get me through this. God is in control and I need to follow his lead.

So, pray for our meeting with the surgeon. Begin to pray that the surgery will be successful. Pray for my mental strength (I’m not losing my mind, but just hard to hear the hard answers). Thanks for reading and listening!!

Wish List vs To Do List…

So I watched some of the series finally of the show “Age of Love” the other night. I watch these shows every once in a while because I love watching human interaction in some unnatural situations, so no comments on my random TV viewing habits.

Anyway, there was one part in the show where the younger gal was talking to the older gal. The younger gal notes that she has a wish list and the older gal probably had a to do list. She explained that she was so young that she wished she could do this and that and she noted that the older gal was at a point where she was no longer wishing, but she is doing things in her life.

Now keep in mind, this is a mindless show, but it got me thinking. Based on my new situation in life, does my wish list turn into a to do list? Then I thought, my wish list should have been a to do list more than a decade ago!! Really, though, I am wrestling with this. Do I begin to check things off my list? In doing so, am I lacking faith in God to put my cancer into remission or cure me completely. Do I just go on through life and get to my list when I can? In doing this, do I short change my family and myself if God chooses to call me home early?

Not sure what to do, but I think I may get to at least a few items on the list! That way, I will have some great memories to share with my kids now and my grandkids when I get old!!

Ok, I get it…

The nice thing is that I have been blessed with great friends.  The even better thing is that great friends hold you accountable.  More than one of you have challenged me about some of the content on my blog and all of you who challenged me are correct.  I have deleted a few of my posts that had inappropriate content, either in word or picture form.  This will continue to be a blog that I share my thoughts and what I am really thinking.  However, some of the lighter posts did have some content that was not necessary and is not needed, even to be funny.  SO, continue to hold me accountable.  I am only human and I need it.  Thanks to those friends who cared enough to mention it!!  You were right!!

I have what!?!?

Well, I am out of the hospital and continuing on my “medical journey”. Right now, we are not longer using the term medical journey. It is now a journey of greater proportions. Bigger than I would have ever expected in my life. I am not a story first then get to the ending kinda guy. Let’s talk about the bullet and then I will tell the story. So here is the bullet:

I have stage 4 colon cancer. Ouch, didn’t see that one coming did you.

This all started last Monday, July 16th with some sever lower abdomen and pelvic pain. Being a guy, I let it ride for a few days and finally could not take it anymore. I go see my doctor on Thursday. They had dome ideas, but we needed to take a look inside to see what was going on.

Friday morning, I had a CT scan done. The radiologists found what they thought might be clot in a major vein and they also found a tumor in my sigmoid colon. I was admitted to a local hospital at 8pm on Friday night. Over the weekend, I had a few more CTs done and the clot in the vein was ruled out. That was good news for us and the only good news we would receive. Over the weekend the doctors kept prepping us for worst case scenarios and, unfortunately, the worst case scenario happened.

On Monday, I had a colonoscopy and the cancer was confirmed. They took some tissue biopsies and we found that the tissue type is adenocarcinoma. This is not the tissue type that we wanted.

Anyway, Sandi and I are not running. We are facing this head on. We are usually people that do things ourselves and handle things on our own. Not this time. We will need to reach out and ask for help. Here is what you can do for us, PRAY!! Pray for patience, strength (mental and physical), wisdom of physicians, and COMPLETE HEALING!!!

We are claiming the following verses as well (compliments of some very close friends):

Psalms 56:4 – In God I will praise his word, in God I have put my trust; I will not fear what flesh can do unto me.

Psalms 103:2-3 (really the whole chapter) – ²Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits:

³Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases;

So, thanks for reading. Thanks for praying. I will keep you all informed through this site. Yes, I will still post the random things, but you can follow THE JOURNEY on this site as well. To see nothing but posts on the journey, just select, “The Journey” from my categories list. Also, please feel free to link to this or upcoming posts and, please, share this prayer request with as many as you can. I need prayer and so does my family.

We have not shared this with our children yet. We are going to seek out the best way to tell them, so pray for that as well.

So, buckle up, here we go!! First stop, the oncologist on Thursday, July 26th at 2:40pm!!

Step up, men!

As most of you know, I have a joint venture project, ac180.com, with some friends and guys around the country. One of these strong Christian men is Russell (visit his site here). Russell posted something that I found really invigorating.

His post talked about men stepping up and being the men that God intended them to be. He is dead on correct!! There is a feminization of men happening. Look at every TV show. Either the father is presented as an idiot and not in control of anything, or there is no father present. Men are made out to be pathetic losers and are no longer respected.

There are problems in the world. We all know that. There are issues that we will not be able to resolve in this world, but we can resolve the issues in our homes and communities, at a minimum. I always hear the comment, “Where are the parents at?”. I would like to know the answer to that question.

Men, now more than ever, we need to step up. We need to be the Christ like example to our families, employers, community, and in church. It starts with us and it starts in the home.